When I was at the annual sessions of Philadelphia Yearly Meeting in July, many Quaker organizations had display tables with information about their work. FCNL was among them and on the table were the familiar dark blue bumper stick-ers “War Is Not The Answer”. So, I picked one up along with a tiny version that is maybe 2” x 3”. . . and the struggle began.
It began at a very superficial level: ‘Do I really want a bumper sticker on my brand new car”? While I enjoy reading what others put on their cars I have never, ever, put one on any of my cars. It is just one of those funny aversions, my quirk. The more I thought about it though, I decided I would do it because I really believe talking is better than fighting to settle disputes.
Then the struggle deepened. It became very personal. I remembered following two cars up Rt. 41 toward Cochranville. The lead car was doing the speed limit, a slow 45 mph. The woman driving the car in front of me was extremely irritated because the lead car was not going as fast as she would like— she was practically riding its bumper. As we approached Rt. 10, the light turned yellow and instead of going through, the first car stopped, almost getting rammed by the irritated driver behind. Waiting for the light to change, I noticed the irritated woman had two bumper stickers on her car: the one on the left said ‘Follow Me to Sunday School’ and the one on the right said ‘Jesus Is my Co-Pilate’. As the light turned green, the woman in front of me stepped on the gas, roared through the intersection and gave the finger to the car ahead as it turned right.
And so, there I sat in July, remembering that incident and wondering if I dare put the bumper sticker on my car. Sitting in the comfort of my home, I can easily believe that the leaders in Tehran and Jerusalem should talk rather than shout and rattle sabers; that those in Syria should just sit down and settle their issues. But what about my issues? What about my interpersonal relations that can be quite bumpy at times? What do I do with those times when things devolve to shouts rather than discussion? Or silences that can last for years rather than figuring out how to bring reconciliation?
The query for August, Peace, was rather timely. The last two questions weighed heavily on me. 1) Do I work for the establishment of alternative ways of settling disputes? Am I aware that to build a world community requires that we all face our differences honestly, openly and in trust? 2) Do I treat conflict as an opportunity for growth, and address it with careful attention? Do I seek to recognize and respect the Divine in those with whom I have a basic disagreement? Do I look for ways to reaffirm in action and attitude my love for those with whom I am in conflict? Well, yes, sometimes . . . but slamming a door just feels so good and nursing hurt feelings does give a sort of perverse pleasure. And so you see, my conundrum. How can I have a bumper sticker that proclaims my aversion to war when slamming a door can be so satisfying?
Then it was Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche to the rescue! In his discussion on meditation in The Joy of Living he kept stressing that whether or not one attains ‘enlightenment’ is not the important part. What is really, really important is one’s intention. It is our intention that is the hallmark of our heart. Even when we slip up or try so hard we freeze in our tracks, the intention of our hearts will lead us on the way. Intention is not that wishy-washy desiring but something firmer, something more. . .purposeful.
And my bumper sticker? I settled for the little tiny version . . . rather than a broadcast to the world, it is my daily reminder to try to be truer to my heart’s intention.
Alyce Denver of West Grove Meeting
They will beat their swords into plowshares
and their spears into pruning hooks.
Nation will not take up sword against nation,
nor will they train for war anymore.
Isaiah 2: 4b
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