~This post is drawn from the March 2014 West Grove Meeting Newsletter.
Dealing with the issue of same-sex relationships is complex. As I sit in my chair writing this it is not my intent to change anyone’s beliefs regarding this matter but merely to reflect more thoughts on it. The only way we will realize consensus in our homes, Meetings and society is through an acceptance and understanding of God’s Love.
Growing up, I had no understanding of same-sex relationships. To me, it seemed that folks were making a choice rather than being driven by internal feelings. I viewed them as outcasts—not to be welcomed into an inner circle of family or friends.
Yet as we age, we learn. First we had to learn to deal with it in our family; then our friends; and finally within the church I attended. Through this entire process the one underlying theme was that these folks were no different than you or me—they simply sought to fill their lives with love. I’ve learned that Love is love. Commitment is commitment regardless of the partners.
I’ve been fortunate to have had a wonderful loving marriage for the last 36 years. Everything about our relationship is considered ‘normal’. My marriage is accepted by society. Yet as I look at society I see marriages composed of inter-racial couples, couples of different nationalities, couples with huge age differences. All of these relationships were fermented by the love they shared and all, if not considered illegal, were certainly frowned upon by families and society. Now all are considered normal and accepted by society. Remember, there was a time not long ago that you were put out—demonized—for marrying outside of your religious faith. Yet the love these folks sought and shared overrode all else. Why shouldn’t we let the love couples want and share be the determining factor rather then imposing our barriers on their right to pursue happiness?
My wife and I discuss this issue frequently. One factor that always enters our discussion is the role the Bible plays in this issue. For some the Bible’s disapproval of these relationships is the determining factor in their mind. Yet there are many facets of the Bible that have evolved with time, changing opinions substantially. For example, slavery is rampant in the Bible as a valid part of that society yet today we find the practice repulsive.
The Ten Commandments specifically condemn the practice of adultery yet we have as a society turned our backs on this and through our silence have given it approval.
I would rather believe that the lessons of Jesus—love and compassion for all—should prevail when our opinions are formed.
I’d like to relate an experience, an absolutely true story, from here on the farm. Every year I buy 17 week old pullets, young hens, that are just entering their laying age. Two springs ago I had a pen full and for the first eight months they all looked the same. Then one started to develop male characteristics: grew larger, developed a heavier comb and tail feathers. Suddenly this chicken was no longer a hen, yet nor was it a true male: it never crowed, wasn’t aggressive like other males and did not dominate the hens. This chicken, not by its own choice, was different—neither a true male or a true female. Unfortunately that chicken died within a year—maybe out of loneliness for its inability to find a mate.
I’m not trying to trivialize the situation but rather merely trying to illustrate that we are who we are created to be. Surely in life we should all have the right to seek out a loving relationship and enjoy the same benefits society has given so many of us. –Paul Hauser
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